Guilt
by remorseofthedead
Summary: Ace now has the family he always wanted...as well as a father he would do anything for. They all love and trust him, but he begins feeling guilty, knowing he doesn't deserve their trust. That he has been lying to them all along...Non-Canon


I do not own One Piece.

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I never thought that I would be sailing under someone else's flag. I never thought I would bare the mark of another pirate. I never thought that I would be surrounding by hundreds of brothers. I defiantly never thought that I would have a father…A father who loves me and accepts me.

I have never been happier than I am on this ship. Of course I enjoyed growing up with Luffy, I love that kid to death, but this is something else entirely. I have a father now. A father I tried to kill hundred of times, but who still accepted me as one of his sons and treats me no different than any of them, expect for maybe Marco, but everyone knows that Marco is special. And I have brothers. Brothers, who joke with me, tease me and pull pranks on me, as I do to them, but brothers who care for me and would always come to my rescue.

It felt nice to be loved…to be wanted. But it also made me feel guilty. Don't get me wrong, I care for them just as much, I would do anything for my brothers…or for Pops. But I know that I don't deserve such love…such affection…such trust. If they ever knew the truth…if any of them ever knew the truth, it would all end. They would kick me off the ship, cursing the fact that they ever called me family, possibly attacking me before hand, getting vengeance for my betrayal…That is, if they didn't just decide to kill me instead, rid the world of a terrible evil. Right the wrong that was my birth.

If they didn't kill me, I don't know what they will do about the tattoo. It was a really stupid idea to get it so big, so noticeable, when I knew that they wouldn't keep me forever…Maybe they'll skin it off. I had heard tales of pirates being kicked out of their crew for one reason or another and having the tattoo depicting their jolly roger skinned off of them…Or they might burn it off. I have heard quite a few stories of that as well. But I guess it doesn't matter. When I tell them…if I tell them, they have the right to do any punishment they see fit.

When I had first joined, I had hoped that I could get by without them ever finding out. But the guilt is beginning to kill me. They put so much faith in me, so much trust, but I have been lying to them, deceiving them. The guilt only grew when they began talking about making me the Second Division Commander…Me a Commander. It was crazy, there were so many crew members who were more dependable, more experienced and stronger, but they trust me enough to make me the Commander…Even though I have done nothing but lie to them. That is why, I am going to tell them. Starting with Pops, tomorrow.

Standing outside of his cabin, I am a bundle of nerves. I pace back and forth in front of his room, I can feel some of my brothers giving me odd looks, but I ignore them, too busy trying to work up the nerve to knock on the massive door in front of me. I stop pace and take a deep breath, square my shoulders and knock hesitantly on the door. As soon as my fist touches the wood, I have to fight the urge to turn and run, forcing myself to push open the door after Pops tells me I can.

Closing the door softly behind me, I lean against it slightly, glancing up at Pops. "What is it, son?" he asks in a caring tone, causing me to flinch. He looks at me worriedly, sitting up a little straighter in his bed. I feel an ache in my chest knowing that this will be the last time he treats me so kindly, the last time he looks at me so lovingly…the last time he will ever call me 'son'.

I push myself off the wall, walking a little further into the room. "I…have something important to tell you." I tell him. He nods his head, looking slightly confused and worried, before gesturing for me to take a seat on his bed. I gingerly take a seat as far away from Pops as I could, clasping my hands together and staring at the floor. We sit in silence as I work up the nerve to actually tell him. He patiently waits for me to speak, not trying to rush me or say anything himself, while taking long drinks from his sake bottle.

"I…I should have told you a long time ago. I should have told you before I agreed to join your crew. But…I guess I was hoping that I would never have to tell you, that you would never have to know. But I feel that I have to tell you. You have a right to know…" I trail off, realizing that I had begun to ramble.

"Just tell me what it is, Ace." he says firmly, though comfortingly. I glance at him quickly, noticing that he looks a slight bit more worried than he had when I first came in. Biting my lip, I wring my hands together, trying to think of how to word it. I decide to just tell him the whole story.

"I became an orphan just minutes after I was born. A marine became my guardian, a favor my father asked before he died. The marine left me with a group of mountain bandits on his home island. They…kept me alive until I was old enough to go out and hunt on my own. When I was nine, I met a boy named Sabo, we were close, we were brothers. We hunted together and attacked people or went digging through the Grey Terminal together. We were saving money, money we stole from people, so that we could buy a ship and become pirates. When we were ten, Luffy was left with the mountain bandits as well. It took a while, but we also became brothers as well. So the three of us spent our days stealing money, dine and dashing and hunting in the forest.

We spent a few hours everyday training. We would each fight a hundred time per day, but only with the other two. We wanted to get stronger so that we would be able to survive by ourselves out at sea. We began living in the forest, setting traps around the tree house we stayed in, so that no animals, or people, could sneak up on us during the night. A few months later, Sabo's father found him and forced him to go home. Luffy and I were told that it would be best for us to leave Sabo alone for awhile, that we would just cause him more problems if we tried to help him. So, we stayed away. A few weeks later, he stole a fishing boat and set sail, wanting to find the freedom he so desperately craved…But just as he left the shore, he was shot down.

After that day, Luffy and I promised that we would set sail at the age of seventeen and that we would live our lives with regret. We would live our lives with more freedom than anyone. But in order for me to do that, I changed my name as I set out…My birth name is Gol D. Ace…son of Gol D. Roger…" I finish, clasping my hands tightly together, trying to keep the tears at bay. The silence seems to stretch on forever. I fidget slightly, waiting for his reaction.

"And…" he asks, staring at me as if I were stupid.

"What…What do you mean, and?" I ask surprised. "I'm the son of your dead rival….doesn't that matter to you?" I ask, a little hope beginning to blossom in my chest.

"Not really. Your heritage doesn't matter. You're my son now, and that is all I really care about." he assures me, taking another drink of his sake. I stare at him in shock, no longer able to keep the tears from falling.

"You…you don't hate me?…You're not going to attack me?…or kill me? Or even kick me out of the crew?" I ask, not really believing what was happening. He lets out a loud laugh, laying his huge hand on top of my head, ruffling my hair.

"You agreed to be my son, you won't be getting out of it so easily," he jokes, pulling me into a tight hug as I sob into his chest.

"Thank you," I choke out as the sobs die down. He lets out another laugh, patting me, slightly painfully, on the back. "Do…do you think the rest of the crew will care?" I ask softly, pulling away from him.

"No, they won't. Everyone on this crew has been shunned by society. Either for things they have done or who their family is. They wouldn't shun one of their brothers so easily." He assures me, smiling softly. I smile brightly in return, the guilt beginning to ease.


End file.
